I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Can I color on your dick again?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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