you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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