I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize