I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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