fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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