dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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