You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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