She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize