Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
