So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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