He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
