Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
