she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
