the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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