Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
