YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
