he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
