I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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