There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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