He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
