so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
