i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if only i could text you this smell
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
