Sry I called you an 8
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
