he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
high people should be assigned attendants
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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