smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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