I wanna bring you to show and tell
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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