dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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