All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
