there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
