I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
party gras won. party gras always wins.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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