I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
