Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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