At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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