I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
