That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm lost and stupid without you.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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