Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
