I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
