He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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