What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
