His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
