I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
