It's Friday. Sex?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
