my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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