3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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