So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
