Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
