We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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