Redeem this text for a blowjob
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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