You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
