I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
