Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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