I wish I could teleport
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
