allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
