pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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