He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
