I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
