Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
