i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
