Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
