I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
