Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
