my mouth tastes like poor choices
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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